Lazda: Nudity

The Barbarians (1987)

Director: Ruggero Deodato
Writer: James R. Silke

The young orphans Kutchek and Gore have been adopted by a tribe of clowns, jugglers, and entertainers. The tribe is led by the queen Canary and its wealth stems from her magical belly stone. The evil ruler Kadar desires Canary and her stone, and attacks her clan's caravan to gain possession of them. Before the clan's defeat one of the clansmen sneak away to hide the stone. Canary is locked up in Kadar's harem, Kutchek and Gore in his quarry to be trained as gladiators, and the rest of the clan is to live as outlaws in the woods. When Kutchek and Gore have grown up to VERY big gladiators, they run away and break into Kadar's harem with the aid of the young woman Lemone. Canary quests them to find "The Old King's Weapons" and with these kill the dragon that guards the hidden belly stone. Afterwards they should find a new queen and give her the stone, to restore the tribe to its former glory.

So, here's another "classic" from the 80's trying to feed off the success of Conan The Barbarian. As you know, there are a number of these, and most of them I quite enjoy. The Barbarians is one that I know I saw as a young kid, but didn't quite remember alot of it. I do remember enjoying it as well, but the details were quite sketchy.

Does this one hold up at all? Well, first of all, this doesn't seem to be available on DVD, at least not one I can find. So, my copy of this movie is pretty damn crappy. I would love to see this cleaned up with a proper release.

The production value is along the lines of other movies from this time period, not too terrible, but not great either. This one comes out of Italy and has quite a few Italian actors in it.

The acting of course is pretty terrible. The barbarian brothers are not good actors at all, however, I found myself enjoying them. I chuckled quite a few times. This movie is very tongue in cheek and doesn't seem to take itself too seriously, which in my opinion makes the movie more enjoyable. I do think that the gorgeous and adorable Eva La Rue is excellent. She would go on to a prosperous career. You probably know her from CSI: Miami.

The action is awful, and there's not much nudity to be had here. However, there is plenty of eye candy to go around.

The fact that The Barbarians doesn't take itself seriously makes this a better movie that what it is. I didn't think I'd enjoy this on my recent watch, but found myself smiling through the movie.

Verdict: Recommended

The Cast

Peter Paul ... Kutchek

David Paul ... Gore

Eva La Rue ... Kara

Richard Lynch ... Kadar

Virginia Bryant ... Canary

Sheeba Alahani ... China

Michael Berryman ... Dirtmaster

Franco Pistoni ... Ibar

George Eastman ... Jacko

The Barbarians (1987) Link Free Download

Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back (1992)

Director: Joe Finley
Writers: Howard R. Cohen, Lance Smith

In a final and epic battle in the thrilling sequel to the now classic "Barbarian Queen", Althalia, leads a revolt of peasants and female warriors against the wicked ruler, Arkaris, to regain her throne.

I previously related to you how I quite enjoyed the original Barbarian Queen. Well, I think I liked that one about as much as I dislike this one. Barbarian Queen II has absolutely nothing to do with the original movie. The only thing it has in common is the main actress Lana Clarkson, who doesn't even play the same character.

This movie is missing so much that made the original enjoyable for me. First, It's lacking the fun of the first. This movie seems to try to take itself more seriously, with a smaller budget.

Second, the action scenes are terrible. The first movies action scenes were not good, but this one just seems worse. They don't even try to hide the fact that the sword fights are done with plastic swords with no effects for realism.

Third, while there is nudity in this movie, there isn't nearly as much as the first. This film could be quickly edited for television and appear on Syfy with just a few scenes clipped.

The acting is on par with the first, maybe even a bit better in places. I'm not saying that it's good in the least, just decent. A real standout for me, however was Cecilia Tijerina, who plays a pretty excellent little brat. Elizabeth A. Jaeger is cute is hell and I'm really sad she only made two movies.

Overall, this is your standard 80's/90's fantasy fair along with the first. But this definitely does not live up to the first movie, which in itself isn't very good.